Thoughts before bed

Aside from this blog, I write in a journal about things that are personal to myself and tonights entry was about my life and what I want out of it.  One thing that is never planned is love, it comes in the most unexpected ways without even asking for it. Something I've learned is you can't go into a relationship thinking it's only your "boyfriend for now" because you never know how far that relationship will get.  So how will you know if you're ready to take your relationship to another level? Thanks to this article from Girls Guide to Beta, the following are 8 valuable lessons to learn about yourself before settling down. Thanks Girls Guide!
xo and goodnight,
Brocade Closet

1. Know yourself first 
To forgo sounding like a broken record, I'll skip over the whole "love yourself first" speech and simply say this: Know what you want out of life. Do you want a big career in the city? To live in the most glamourous penthouse possible? Do you want the space of the suburbs? A family? Or do you want it all, the career and a family? Outline your own dreams, your own passions and always come back to them in every facet. You'll be the most happy when you come to realize that many of these dreams will be your reality some day. When it comes time to settle down, your man will want to know these things about you too. Learn to squeeze every little thing you can out of life.
2. Make best girl friends
Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte proved to women everywhere that the relationships we have with our girl friends are some of the most important relationships we will ever make. When Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome stands you up, these are the girls who let you cry on their shoulders. They spoon feed you Ben and Jerry's and point out all the horrible flaws you failed to realize the first time. Whether they are your sorority sisters, best friends from high school, or coworkers, steal quick coffee breaks to gossip about who's sleeping with who and dedicate yourself to these ladies for life, They were there for you first. 
3. Learn to laugh out loud
Don't take things too seriously, including yourself. So what if you spilled your burning hot mocha frappuccino down the front of your favorite white t-shirt on the way to work this morning. Find the humor in as many situations as possible and make it a point to smile everyday. You'd be amazed by how much happier and stress-free you will feel when you let go and don't sweat the small stuff. 
4. Let him chase you
Don't be that girl waiting by the phone all night. We all pitied Ginnifer Goodwin in He's Just Not That Into You and swore we would never, ever analyze every single detail like she did. Keep that promise to yourself because it's those times when you aren't even looking that something perfect seems to come along. When it does, don't chase after him. If he really likes you he'll call, he'll ask you out, he'll do everything in his power to make you his and it will seem all the more romantic to you. Put down the phone, stop texting every guy on your contact list, and enjoy the mystery of it all. 
5. Define and redefine sexy
My own personal motto is look good, feel good. Vivienne Westwood defines sexy as "looking powerful and important." I couldn't agree more. Find what makes you feel sexy. It might be the LBD you bought back in college that still fits like a glove, the new stilettos you just bought, styling your hair a certain way, or a pair of slouchy weekend jeans. Feeling sexy has nothing to do with looking easy. It's all about empowerment. Try defining the term for yourself and take your self confidence to a whole new level. 
6. Know your deal breakers
Take it from the 6 merry murderesses of death row, if you can't stand it when a man pops his gum, you're never going to get over it. Even if he seems perfect in every other way except one minor-- err, major-- flaw you have to know when to move on. If it's something you think you can get over eventually when the right man comes along make sure the two of you can come to an agreement. Relationships are about balance and compromise and being happy with one another. 
7. Know how to support yourself financially
Silently hum Kanye West's Gold Digger to yourself for 30 seconds and then snap back into reality. While I don't think any of us would complain if the man we fell in love with was secretly a millionaire, we owe it to ourselves to have the means to take care of ourselves. Whether you're a personal chef or a top executive, make it a point to have an education and a career. Glance back at the ladies from Sex and the City once more and take note that all of them were successful in their field of choice. I'm not saying I fully understand how Carrie managed to afford Manolo Blahniks on a freelance writer's paycheck but the point is she did.
8. Choose you
This is easily my most important piece of advice. Always, always, always put you and your own happiness first.

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